In the news (09/07/2022): cannibalism as an answer to food insecurity

Exactly 350 years ago, Johan de Witt was having what could be called a rough summer. The man who had spent the last 20 years as de facto ruler of the Dutch Republic had been stabbed on June 21st by a would-be assassin, barely surviving the attempt. On August 4th, he was forced to resign his post as Grand Pensionary by his political opponents, after a series of defeats at the hands of the English and the French. As a member of an old patrician family, de Witt represented the Republican interests of the ascendant merchant class and the oligarchy, in contrast to the more traditional authority of the landed aristocracy, personified by the House of Orange.

On August 20th, he went to visit his brother Cornelis, who was in jail accused of treason, and getting ready for a lifetime in exile. The visit ended badly; the two brothers were seized by a mob supporting the Orangists, and shot to death. After the murder, their bodies were mutilated and hanged for public scorn. Their livers were eaten by the crowd, who according to some witnesses showed “remarkable discipline” throughout the ordeal. This, coupled with the non-prosecution of the cannibals, led to suspicions of a never confirmed Orangist conspiracy.

De Witt’s story is a particularly macabre episode in the tradition of Dutch political violence, which involves rioting for a variety of reasons, from Queen Beatrix's coronation to the banning of eel-catching in the canals. The most recent example are the protests that unfolded due to the implementation of Covid-19 curfews in November 2021, leading to several hundred arrests and, fortunately, no deaths.

This occurrences are not proof of a particularly violent character on the part of the Dutch; moreover, they demonstrate human propensity for such acts across all times and places. Even in wealthy, culturally-sophisticated societies such as the Netherlands, home of Rembrandt and Van Gogh.

Amsterdam is the poster city for thalassocratic decadence: hallucinogenic mushrooms, the faint scent of marijuana in the air, tremulous flesh displayed under the red lights of the old city walls. This charm has turned it into a pilgrimage spot for college students of the Orgasmus generation.

This laid-back appearance betrays its true nature as an old center of world power. The Dutch East Indies company set up camp there in the 17th century, unleashing its rapacity all across the globe. The Port of Amsterdam is still one of the busiest harbors in the world; it lays in close vicinity to Rotterdam, an even busier one. Together with Antwerp, in Belgium, they serve a massive hinterland of tenths of millions.

The Netherlands was also Ground Zero for the Eighty Years War (1568-1648), the European Civil war that depleted the Hispanic Monarchy’s economy and, in time, allowed the ascent of Britain (by then still a backwater peripheral nation) to world power status. The war brought tremendous headaches to four generations of Habsburgs, and dwarfed the US Forever War in Afghanistan in its cost, both in silver and in lives.

The Protestant Reformation and the Counter-Reformation became geopolitically significant memeplexes in this time, too. Dutch tolerance for all kinds of people and their ideas made it a refuge for all types of persecuted minorities, such as Sephardic Jews or English Puritans. This, coupled with a permissive culture regarding the press, led to the proliferation of political cults and religious sects, some of which made their way into America, where they would flourish for centuries to come.

Many of these Dutch immigrants settled in a place they called New Amsterdam. The settlement they built would later became New York: the prototype for modern ultra capitalist, culturally eclectic, amoral megacities. The kind of place from where global power radiates: it’s not a coincidence that the UN headquarters are located there.

Another such project is being built in and around Amsterdam. In fact, the TriState City Network, as it is called, will encompass most of the Benelux area, even extending into Köln, Germany. This means it will swallow Brussels and the Hague, as well. If it sounds like a potential cyberpunk nightmare, it’s because it is.

Lately, the Dutch have been everywhere in the news for rioting. [Just kidding, this was, unsurprisingly, not widely reported]. This time, the issue were the new regulations regarding nitrogen dioxide emissions. Due to commitments with the EU and WEF Sustainable Development Goals -better known as Agenda 2030-, the Dutch government has issued laws restricting the activity of farms, arguing that said farms are a source of emissions.

Nitrogen dioxide is a reddish-brown toxic gas which usually enters the atmosphere as an intermediate in the synthesis of nitric acid. This means that it is of upmost importance for the fertilizer industry which feeds the world (the same industry that is in a critical situation due to the war in Ukraine, but that’s a topic for another day).

The main anthropogenic source of nitrogen dioxide emissions is, nonetheless, the combustion of fossil fuels that happens on which motor vehicles run on. There are natural causes to its release, too: bacterial respiration, volcanic eruptions and lightning storms are some notable ones.

Although they’d probably like to, Eurobureaucrats still have not found a reliable way to regulate mitochondrial, tectonic and meteorologic phenomena. Thus, after more than a decade focusing on the car industry and traffic regulations, this time they have decided to center their efforts on Dutch farmland.

The new laws have been met by Dutch farmers with tractor rallies, highway blocks and widespread protests, even surrounding the Minister of Agriculture’s house. A general strike was carried out on the 4th of July, and there were threats from the government on using military force on rioters if the Schiphol airport saw its operations threatened. There have been reports of clashes with police and troops involving gunshots, and food security is being seriously threatened.

The rioters claim that the operation to dismantle the Dutch farm industry is in fact part of a strategy to buy cheaper farmland for the aforementioned TriState City Network. They fear the Dutch countryside will be completely bulldozed and replaced by the soulless blocks and ghettos that are a staple of the Global City™, presumably to house legions of imported corporate slaves and the Uber Eats riders that feed them. “Live in the pod, eat the bugs, own nothing” and all of that.

There’s a looming economic crisis, and food security is in jeopardy. Reflecting on Johan de Witt’s story, one can’t help but wonder if the Dutch, instead of eating the bugs, might start to think of alternatives on the menu.